Fake It ‘Til You Make It

3 Oct

Look what came in the mail!

cake dummies 1 compressed

At long last, the wait is over and the dummies have arrived! No, not your in-laws- cake dummies! I’ve wanted some for what feels like forever and at long last I have some! I read and read and read about them and now I have a set of my own. I know just what to do with them, if only I can remember how to do it. Hmm, better research it again. BRB

 Okay, I think I’m ready but first, you know I have to play with them. C’mon! You know you’d do the same. You would. Really, really would. So there.

cake dummies 2 compressed

How’s that look? Pretty cool, huh? What about this?

cake dummies 3 compressed

Huh. It looks so different when someone else does it. I guess I better quit goofing off and get to work.

I’ve read these are really light so they move around a lot. Therefore, I’m going to be proactive and put a piece of rubber shelf liner underneath, like this:

cake dummies 4 compressed

I made a double batch of royal icing using this recipe: http://www.wilton.com/recipe/Royal-Icing

 Remember to use grease-free utensils, beaters and not a whip, and let it beat a long time on low (at least on low for my mixer). It’s actually simple to make as long as it’s not humid outside. Humidity and royal is the same as humidity and buttercream==bad.

 Now that I have the royal icing made, I’m ready to go. I iced from largest to smallest and stacked them as I finished each one. Don’t do this. Ice the sides of all of them separately and then stack them as you ice the tops of each one. Otherwise, everything will be wobbly the entire time. Keep the wobblies to a minimum and ice them separately. When you get the top of one iced, set the next one on top and it will glue itself together. You can move them if you don’t get it centered the first time, but do it quickly because it’s an almost instant adhesion. Voice of experience speaking. 

Nearly

Instant.

Bah!!!

 In case you’re curious, George, here’s the amount of royal I had left after icing them:

5 Quart Bowl

5 Quart Bowl

Here’s what it looked like before I smoothed it:

Side A

Side A

Side B

Side B

While B is better than A, both sides still need a lot of work- unless you’re going for the rustic look. So, with Viva in hand, a-smoothing I shall go:

cake dummies 8 compressed

It figures that I’d get the dummies and icing with issues.

This is my life.

 My icing did take a while to dry, which was good. I’d read it dries fast and I was concerned I wouldn’t have time to get it smooth. I had time, just not enough. At least, not enough time for me. From the first spatula full to the last, I spent an hour getting this far and then I could do no more.

 My “Big Plan” was to wait a couple of days for it to harden completely while deciding how to proceed (and hoping it would magically smooth itself in the dark of night). While I was waiting for the frosting fairy to arrive, I was going to make a beaver cake. Beaver the animal, not beaver the…well, let’s just say not that kind of beaver. The one that builds a dam. Never mind. My plan was to make a carved cake while waiting on the dummy to dry.

 Someone else had other plans for me. Sudafed, tissues, antibiotic, fever laden plans. I’ll spare you the details but I will tell you a couple of days turned into a week. Suddenly the last days of summer are past and Fall has now arrived while I’ve been hacking up stuff you don’t wanna know about. Anyway, one week later, I finally find the strength to look at it again and……………..

it looks the same. Drats! Where are those fairies when you need them? All I ever get are the gremlins, never the fairies. *Big Snot Filled Sigh* I guess I’ll have to do it myself.

 My next big decision is to sand it smooth. This will work, right? Sure it will! After consulting with the lil dude, I chose 100 grit sandpaper. I can never remember if sandpaper is rougher the higher the number or the lower. Hmm, let’s see, bad toilet paper is called 80 grit so it must be rougher the lower, therefore 100 it is. Warning: wear an apron for this. If it warm and dry, do it outside. It’s just like sanding spackling. Dust will fly everywhere and you will have royal icing boogers. Wear an apron or old clothes. At least it smells sweet as you sand, unlike spackling. Of course, I’m still hocking loogies and it’s raining, so I stick with my trusty old dining room table.

cake dummies 9 compressed

Did I mention I really stink with spackle and sanding? Twenty minutes of rub-rub-rub and this is what it still looks like. Do you think I can get out the electrical attachment for the sandpaper and have at it? Hmm, prolly not. I bet I’d gouge the Styrofoam ‘cause that’s how I roll. Maybe wiping it down will work?

cake dummies 10 compressed

I guess not. I tried using circular motion with the damp washcloth like I would do when spackling walls, but that stuff doesn’t budge once it’s dry. What to do, what to do?

Stay tuned for more Can This Dummy Be Saved? and PLEASE, people, give me some suggestions. I’m beggin’ ya’. I’m totally lost here. Out of my element. In Royal Wanderland. Help a chick out. Toss me a cake truffle. Something. Anything. For the love of cake, what do I dooooooooooooooooo??????????????

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2 Responses to “Fake It ‘Til You Make It”

  1. chick2 October 3, 2009 at 3:58 pm #

    First, sorry about the ‘maters in the pictures. It’s that time o’ year in the cake chick household.
    Secondly- so many jokes left unjoked. It was tough. Tryin’ to keep it PG on the blog so I left out stuff about white powder and the funny of the week at work concerning “nice box.” Just know that I know and that I wish I coulda but I can’t. It’s for our own good. I hope. I really hate to waste a good joke….

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